Our new normal.

We moved in to our new home on the night of Halloween. With boxes in every room, chaos in the house, nothing to munch on in the pantry -- that should have been a warning sign that the month to come was going to be tough. And it was. Losing a loved one is hard. And it never seems fair. Even with all the support and love being poured out, no amount of it makes it better. But somehow with time things get better. We learn to laugh again. We're still sad. Very sad. But there's a time when you have to carry on. Life will never go back to normal. So you make a new normal.



Last December, Mitch lost his best friend. He lost his dad.

One minute he's in the hospital for a fall. Expected to be home healthy in a couple days. Next he's moved to ICU. Even there doctors were optimistic. They believed he had brain damage but hopeful that when he was stable he'd recover. He had days where he walked. Had conversations with us all. Even brushed his teeth without help. But then he started to decline. Quickly. That's when the really hard decisions had to be made.

I think back on everything and can't figure out how it happened. It's like one second we're racing to the E.R. due to a minor fall with doctors telling us he'll be okay in a couple days. Next we're weeping in hallways embracing others asking God how He could let this happen. Blaming Him and wondering why us. Didn't He know our faith didn't need to be tested? We're all faithful servants of His so why us? The only answer I ever get is 'It was just his time.' And honestly, that's not good enough for me.

Death sucks. It really sucks. I hated seeing Mitch and his mom and sister have to sit down with the doctors to figure out what they wanted, but most importantly, what Steve would have wanted. Loved ones shouldn't have to make those decisions. But fortunately they were all so loving about the whole thing that they only thought of their dad and husband, and what he would have wanted the most. They never made it about themselves and focused on making him comfortable.

The holidays were rough without him. You could see the sadness in everyone's eyes. No matter how many gifts we put under the tree it still felt incomplete. As we prepared for the new year, we struggled to believe that 2014 we'd be one less Brotherton. That no matter what we looked forward to in the coming year, he wouldn't be there with us. But we're confident that 2014 is going to be a special year for us. We revamped our bucket lists, made some exciting resolutions, even promised each other to laugh more and to be brave enough to try new things. Some say death can make you stronger, but I believe that death brings out your hidden strengths. In hard times you prove yourself and discover a whole new side to life.




We love you Steve. 
And miss you so very much.
12.1.2013